The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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