'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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