You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
operation have a gay friend backfired
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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