Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize