Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
