yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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