I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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