he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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