Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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