After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
