your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize