Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
