ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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