you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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