What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize