do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize