what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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