I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
