Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize