Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
