Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
