there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
