yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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