Your mouth is God's brothel.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You were trust falling into bushes
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
