I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
birth control should be required to get into college
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
