You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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