I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
please come you make the beer taste better
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
