i just google imaged poop.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize