your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
