did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
