Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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