I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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