Duck Duck Cougar?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
