NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Rumble strips road head = magical
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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