I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
