Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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