so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
