i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
