If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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