did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Alive.
So much puke
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
