You can't motorboat a personality
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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