So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
