Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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