Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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