it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
