I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize