OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
