Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
