You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
