I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My feet surprised me
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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