Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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