yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You made out with two different species that night
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
