Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
