I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
