my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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