so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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