I bet he comes in French.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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