There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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