: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
