Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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