That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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