She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
