after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
