Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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