I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
should my penis look like a turkey
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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