ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
