I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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