My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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