Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
